Wonderful

I feel much better today, in fact seperti dalam hati ada taman... hurm... I dont know why.. Tak kisah.. tapi kalau boleh aku nak perasaan seperti ini setiap masa. Semakin hari semakin sayang. Thanks for makes me feel wonderful everyday. I lap ya!

Nobody but YOU!

Aku kenal dia dah masuk 8 bulan. Sejak awal perkenalan yang di mana sekarang ni kalau kawan2 bertanyakan our status, we will tell them we're housemates, we used to date each other. USED TO... Bila la aku nak dengar perkataan we are DATING now or we are in a RELATIONSHIP now! OK yang itu aku tidak mahu memikirkan walaupun jauh di sudut hati meronta2... tapi apakan daya bukannya boleh dipaksa. Ianya harus datang dengan sendirinya. Aku mengerti!

Aku masih lagi mengharap ada sinar. Sinar kebahagiaan bersama nya. We love each other. Sayang satu sama lain tapi tiada komitmen antara kami. Teman tapi mesra... Bak katanya.. don't think about it too much, there's lots of thing to look forward, we enjoy each other companionship. Ahh.. sungguh klise.

Kadang2 aku merasakan aku hanya mengharap pada sesuatu yang tak pasti (agak janggal ku menyatakan ini tapi di setiap ke-tak-pastian itu seperti ada sinar lagi) jadi kesimpulannya aku tetap masih mengharap. Aku pernah memberikan diriku peluang sampai masa menentukan dan peluang tersebut telah pun tamat tempohnya tetapi indirectly aku extend dan extend lagi. Kenapa lah wahai AKU?? Say NO say NEXT!!! la weii...

Sepanjang pengharapan, I've been meeting a few persons (just to try-out besides making friends) but none really can make me feel the way when I'm with her. Apakah ini??

Aku asyik memikirkan jika aku nekad untuk tidak meneruskan pengharapan ku ini dan mencari sinar di tempat lain, aku bimbang aku membuat keputusan terburu2 seandainya betul masa akan menentukan... *terus air mata mengalir di pipi <---sedikit drama GLC di sini konon*

Masihkah ada sinar?

Fanta want to say something...

Today i want to be a part time Dr. Love. Motif? Based on my experiences la sikit2 ok!

My dear readers, How do you know if you are in LOVE? Very common question but very rare to get a perfect answer! I mean so far I have not heard a very satisfying answer. The definition of LOVE itself to me is so complicated yet to everyone. Well, very much agree eveyone can define it in their own words based on their feeling, experiences or external info. Whatever...

When I met someone.. and started to care for that someone... what i mean by care here is: been texting each other upon daily basis, always find times to hang out/meet them, slowly digging their background profile, well basically process of getting to know that person really well and when I'm away I started to feel unease, developing the feeling of missing that person. (Well you don't do/feel these to other person that you consider as friend right?) So, turn out to be a someone you are crazy about and and wondering what has been going on here. Then i started to ask myself. Is it LOVE, LUST, INFATUATION or just plain LIKE? What a subjective feeling has occurred?

Here are some things I asked myself:
- How do I feel when I am with this person?
- How do I feel when I am not with this person?
- Does this person make me feel special and happy?
- Can I be myself around this person?
- What are the qualities this person has that make me feel so strongly?
- Do I think my feelings are reciprocated?

Well, being in love can be a wonderful feeling! But keep in mind that after the initial passionate feelings calm down, you will be left with a real person and real issues to deal with. A lot of people feel that a deeper love develops over time. Then when THAT is the time, weakness slowly reveals and because of the 'love' development process (taken the person you in love with, you have accepted her the way she is) The weakness can be handled wisely. Nobody is perfect ok! Thats why they called it 'Significant Other' or 'The Other Half'...

Hurm.. this is just a piece of mind from Fanta's perspective apart from getting info from the net abit and Fanta is in progress of looking forward to find her True Love. No! She wants her True Love to find her while she is sitting at the cafe enjoying every sips of her Teh Tarik. My goodness... it has to be 2-ways communication la weiii....

What say you?

You can stay under my Umbrella

When the sun shines
We’ll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath Im'ma stick it out 'til the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella
You can stand under my Umbrella

Auuuwww......

Melalui hari2 mendatang dengan tabah

Seminggu sudah berlalu hidupku sebagai seorang nomad. Bermalam di sana sini dan sesiapa yang sudi nak pinjamkan couch nya buat alas tido ku. Aku tak kisah pun kalau takde couch asalkan ada lantai yang selesa untuk aku tido. So far a few yang mengofferkan rumah mereka tapi atas sebab kesenangan aku nak pegi keja, maka aku stay di rumah Black jer. Aku sangat berterima kasih sebab kawan2 sudi membantu di saat kesusahan.

Si dia a few times jugak pelawa aku balik rumah and tido di rumah. Sekali dua jer lah aku balik rumah sebab aku kehabisan stok pakaian untuk keja dan aku terpaksa balik. Berat hatiku dan betapa janggalnya bila melihat si dia on the phone dengan 'orang itu' dan non-stop texting seperti kami mula2 bercinta dulu. Haduiii...

Tetapi sekarang aku macam dah takde perasaan sangat melihat si dia begitu mungkin sebab aku dah terima kenyataan bahawa life must go on.

Tetapi sejak semalam si dia asyik call aku bertanya khabar and menceritakan pasal dirinya yang selalu berasa gundah gulana. Aku faham sebab bila dia berbuat keji begini dengan aku (aku tak tau apa lagi kekejian yang dia dah buat) aku tak dapat nak salahkan dia apa2, tetapi dia merasakan kawan2 dia dah mula memandang serong dan bercakap2 di belakang.

This is the point yang aku rasa nak bagi jer kat dia tapi aku tetap nak remain silent sampai dia sedar sendiri. Point nya, dia asyik nak fikir apa orang cakap. At the very first place aku merasakan instinct aku betul sebab apa yang orang cakap dia decided to kononnya nak jadi straight and mencuba menerima lelaki dalam dirinya eventhough still feels the awkwardness there. Hurm... siapa lah aku nak cakap lebih2 kan. Semua terpulang kepada dirinya sendiri. Apa yang aku boleh nasihatkan, ikut jer kata hati tapi jangan sampai membinasakan diri. Yang dikejar tak dapat, yang dikendong berjatuhan..

Setelah membaca blog noks Dian Wal Qatariah yang penuh dengan info2 yang sangat berharga dan berkeyakinan juga membarakan sanubari ini, sedikit sebanyak aku masih lagi menaruh harapan yang tak berapa nak tinggi untuk kembali bersama si dia. Point2 beliau jelas bahawa aku masih lagi ada harapan. Tapi aku taknak la mengharap sangat, risau aku akan terluka lagi teruk dan tak sembuh2. Parah tu beb!

Whatever it is... aku nak enjoy life aku dengan membuat segala aktiviti yang aku ter-miss selama ini. Furthermore, hari ini aku akan mendapat keta ku. Terus esok aku gigih membeli GPS senang sikit aku nak ke sana ke mari. Haa?? Akakendu? Boley jer...

Happy 1st Anniversary

Hari ini menandakan setahun sudah I dengan sang partner I in a relationship. Semoga banyak lagi anniversary untuk diingati. Di sebabkan ianya jatuh pada weekdays yang busy maka I telah postpone utk celebrate (bersama si dia shj) pada weekend ni.

Sekarang ni semua hotel di sekitar KL untuk promosi buffet buka puasa dah fully-booked. Kebanyakkan hotel I dah call and penuh sampai raya. Picky.. hotel hang jer i belum call lagi which i bet fully booked jugak utk weekend. Hurm...

Anyway, just go with the flow. Kalau rasa nak makan hotel kena la call semua tpt tapi untuk penjimatan maksima (kedekut ke?) maka aku rasa masak2 sendiri or take away KFC, makan dekat area swimming pool+leisure di rumah weols. Sambil menyaksikan tol lebuhraya seremban-kl belakang rumah weols and bau-bau KFC dari seberang exactly belakang apartment cuma dipisahkan dengan pagar tinggi. Kalau tak.. memang senang la aku nak pegi KFC.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY sayang... I hope we can bring out the best in each other.

For a year now we've been living together

In something less than marriage, more than friends,

Reasonably happy with each other,

Satisfied to serve our separate ends.

There are no promises, nor should there be,

As we pursue our passions day by day,

Needing only love, which we agree

Need not be guaranteed in any way.

In such a case, there is a case for giving

Very little, just enough to keep

Each even with the common cost of living,

Relating what we sow to what we reap.

So does love die, for love loves not the measure

Allocating carefully its treasure.

Reason may with reason count the cost,

Yet love that is not generous is lost.

.

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p/s : HAPPY BIRTHDAY Erin...!!! Semoga panjang umur dan dimurahkan rezeki.